I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
