Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just invented taco cereal.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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