I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
