oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
