She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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