Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
