Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just saw a hot homeless man
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
