So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
