She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
