Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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