If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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