When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
