I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
ttyl tear gas
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize