I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
