did you get engaged???
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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