i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
