oh god the rape fog is back!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
