i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
