You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
