oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
