shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
