We named our party play list daddy issues
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Congratulations! We have a period
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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