Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
