I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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