nut hugger
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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