i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
