ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
