the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize