we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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