if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
