That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
