fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
