I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
