Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
