I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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