My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
