Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize