He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
