just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
