he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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