it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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