omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
