NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
