this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
