Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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