Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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