what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
