Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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