This is not my ceiling
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
