He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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