just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were destined to go to rehab together
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
