Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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