Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
