do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
