If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
