It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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