I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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