People in love make me want to vomit
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
