Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
4 words: hood of his car
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
